Never as good as the first time? (Brussels)

Isnt it funny how the event that kind of motivated this whole trip turns out to be the one that the least manages to touch me?

My second Marathon del Chocolate is now over, and I must say it was a totally different experience from last year. Then, I was incredibly impressed by everything at this marathon: the level of dancing, the beauty of the people, the warmth with which they all seemed to great each other and the how close friends they all seemed to be. I wanted so desperately to become a part of that circle, to be included in the conversations, feel accepted in the groups of people relaxing on the sofas scattered around the dance floor, be invited by those amazing dancers. I also remember that although I felt slightly intimidated by it all, this marathon was the first one where I started to feel sufficiently at ease to believe that one day, I would not feel like an outsider anymore.

I suppose the day has now arrived. I am not an outsider anymore, and I know a great many of these people not only by sight, but have actually either danced or talked with them on several occasions. True, there are still some men who dont invite me, and some women for whom I dont even seem to exist, but in general, I do feel accepted, if still not totally at home, in this circle.

Achieving this was not so difficult after all. Firstly, I am aware of the fact that my dancing is now totally different than a year ago, and this correlates closely with the number of invitations I am getting. Secondly, I have been travelling to tango events extensively for the past couple of years, and most of these people have seen me many times,and are friends with someone I already know. Perhaps it really is that simple: all that is needed is to be seen often enough and to keep improving ones dancing skills?

More importantly, however, I am not so keen anymore to be liked by the best  dancers, however they are as people. In the past year, I have seen that getting to dance with many of them does not feel as gratifying as I would have thought, while sometimes dancing with a beginner can give me much, much more.  Perhaps, what has changed the most in the past year is what I am looking for in tango.

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