Unexpected hurdles (Riga)

Just when you thought you were familiar with all the possible ups and downs of participating in a tango event, new challenges present themselves: an hitherto unknown, almost debilitating physical discomfort forces you to sit out most of the weekend.

Instead of customarily wading first ankle, then knee, and finally, waist deep in the endorphins generated by dancing, you find yourself stranded on the shore of that sea of emotions that the others now are swimming in. Like a fisherman without proper tackle or bait, you sit and observe others pulling one juicy fish after another, desperately trying to remain confident that this too shall pass, that your time will come again.
Admittedly, there are moments of self-pity and resignation. Even after all these years, it is still so easy to feel like everything is lost, that it is now the time you finally ride into the sunset, leaving this particular kind of madness behind.
But just as undeniably, there still are countless moments of joy: laughter, cuddles and gossiping, catching up, sharing stories, tears and the "occasional" drink with people who have accompanied you on this path for the best part of the past decade and a half. And that in itself IS worth travelling to another city for.
There are unexpected gifts too: the miraculous effect of a gentle hand briefly resting on your neck, the joy of sharing what little dancing you can do with followers who appreciate your perception of the music, even with the limitations set by your pain. And the undeniable happiness over your friends' success, over seeing them shine.
And then, there is that one Pugliese tanda that just has to be danced. Against all odds, no matter the risk of renewed pain or the lack of appropriate footwear. The moment of throwing all caution to the wind, of diving head first into all that is dark, deep and dangerous in a human soul. Of burning up all the accumulated debris of your mind, heart and body.
At the end of such a tanda, you return to your table with trembling legs, out of breath, slightly dizzy in the head. And you ask yourself what the hell it was that just happened.
And perhaps that is precisely why it is so healing.

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