On love and fear (Basel)

According to one theory of life, there are only two basic emotions; love and fear. All the other feelings, cravings, itches and grievances are just their little cousins, brought about by circumstances and personal histories. Although they are certainly also present elsewhere, tango brings us in frequent contact with both of these primal forces.

Fear is present in many forms: in the basic fear of being left out, of not getting the dances we want, of not being good enough, of not being heard and understood as we really are. There is also the most primal fear of all, that of being hurt. Although the risk of physical injury certainly diminishes with experience, it never completely disappears, and the occasional rough tanda with an insensitive partner serves to remind us of its existence. Obviosly, there is also the fear of psychological or emotional pain, caused by unmatched desires, unpleasant experiences, or rejection.
Luckily, there is also ample opportunity to epxerience love on the dance floor. There is the thrill and joy of shared movement, of letting the music carry you, of connecting with another person through it. There is the beauty of complementing each other's movements, of understanding each other's intentions, of sharing the emotions evoked by the magnificent music that we have chosen as the background for our escapism. And there is the occasional, never-to-be-taken-for-granted experience of flow that always lands on your unexpectedly, and always fills you with immense gratitude. And finally, very rarely, there is the fleeting sense of completely losing yourself in the other person, of becoming one with your dancing partner, or even, with the whole universe. If that is not love, I don't know what is.
The spell of tango seems to result from the unpredictability of these two extremes. True, you may have learned how to increase your chances of those experiences of love - and how to keep the fear factor as low as possible. But just as you cannot really influence the dreams you'll be having on any particular night, there isn't any way to guarantee even a positive overall feeling in a milonga. It is almost as if the gods throw the dice, and you just see how they land.
At best, tango cleanses your soul of all fear. At worst, it presents you with all your demons in a matter of 12 minutes. And right there lies the beauty - and curse - of it.

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