What is a "good dance"?

When exactly dancing lost its innocence to me,I cannot say, but somewhere down the line it must have happened. What used to be a search for fun, momentary emotional relief or pure somatic pleasure turned into a deeper, much more complicated quest for self expression, meaningful connection and shared sense of humanity.

Along with this change, came a much more complex relationship to what it means to have a "good dance". Long gone are the days when for a great night out, it sufficed to dance a lot, to get a couple of tandas with my favourite partners, or even, to achieve the longed-for tango bliss. Now, most of the time I battle with my own self-expectations, memories or frustrations. At best, I am observing with mild curiosity how even slight changes in my own attitude seem to have a much bigger impact on the resulting dance than who I am dancing with will.

Perhaps inevitably, milonga life has lost a big part of its fascination with the years spent watching and participating in it. But still, perhaps for lack of an attractive alternative, I keep returning to it.

And still, almost without exception, I return home from a milonga a little wiser, a little kinder, a little more human.